Riffing On Realness™

Divisiveness, Anger, Grief, What's on the Other Side?

Episode Summary

Recorded 6 days after the US election, Carla shows up vulnerable and raw, sharing her experience of the election week, consciously going down the rabbit hole and the stress she's felt. Her recognition of what the stress has done to her body and curiosity to explore the emotional reactions including sadness, anger, and grief around her perception of the huge divisiveness going on in the US at this time.

Episode Notes

Here’s what we explored:

internal and external division - to recognise the division within and be curious to fully feel that
notice a movement from stress in the head to feeling in the body
we want to run from divisiveness, what happens if we just get curious about it
Carla noticed how the grief welled up as she came on the call
being real means being authentic and honest in the messiness of being human
we are divine and messy humans
Carla noticed in conversation with someone how strongly both she and the other believe they are right - separate realities - division
walking in nature Carla describes beautifully how she missed it all because she was in her head going over past conversations
when we get exhausted, it looks harder to access equilibrium
what's the pay off for getting stuck in painful, stressful thinking?
what's the pay off for not being wedded to our personal thinking?
a fundamental shift from problem to solution, from pain to possibility
for Carla staying in her head is feeling safe and not having to go into the grief
going into the grief can be rich and healing
an image of dropping into a deeper feeling and bringing all the chattering thoughts along with you - what if they are not a problem?
inviting fear or anger along to teach us, show me how big and powerful you are
seeing how we create all this drama in our mind - shows the brilliance and power of the mind
Juliet tells the story of waking with low-level unease as if not wanting to leave something nicer in the sleep state
she saw how this was just an idea that has coloured many many mornings in her life
it's just one idea or feeling state out of an infinite number of feeling states
the brilliance and power of the mind can bring us drama but also can flood us with joy
it's the same power
every day we ignore and dismiss hundreds of thoughts that don't look true or real to us
when we really start to see the illusory nature of our personal thought system gradually (or suddenly) loses our grip on us. It gets less compelling
In the book Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom, Carla describes an experiment looking at the brains of meditators and how they react to the sound of a screaming woman
Brains scans show how the meditators demonstrated compassion while non-meditators reacted with fear
Carla describes the feeling of anger and divisiveness within her and she can't see or feel compassion
Juliet invited Carla to lean into the feeling of divisiveness
grief wells up for Carla and a feeling of loneliness and hopelessness for her and her country
she wants to heal the divide within herself to help heal the divide in the world
the healing of Carla's own sense of division is already underway
people are drawn to groundedness in others
Juliet talks of the power emanating from humans grounded in compassion and love
Juliet sees change coming from a change of heart, one by one
she gives the analogy of a baseball field on the one hand, where everyone is hitting each other with bats, and on the other hand a pop concert where phones are lit up and waving
gradually the people on the baseball field begin to notice the people at the concert are having a better time and start to drop the bats
when we drop the bats within our own psyche we move into love and compassion
Carla questions the authenticity of those who talk of loving others but not liking their actions.
Juliet gets curious about self-responsibility. When we realise where our experience is coming from, there is nowhere to hide.
You realise you can't give your responsibility away for how you feel and what you do. With no other people or circumstances to blame, what's left? Accountability
the source of our experience is internal, not external
it brings up a reckoning for Juliet on self-responsibility which she'd like to avoid
Carla talks of Stacey Abrams who (with the help of others) mobilised voters in the state of Georgia with fierce love and compassion to do things that have never been done there before
Carla is interested in bringing the disowned parts of herself in so that she can help heal her country
when we are caught in our own mental dramas it weighs us down and creates exhaustion which can become a way of not taking responsibility and not getting into action
when we see the illusory nature of thinking and get in awe of the power that creates our experience, we experience more freedom of thought
trying to find freedom from a distressed, agitated state is really hard
in a distressed state, all we need is to be wrapped in an embrace of love

Sending love to all our listeners. If you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review and share on your networks.

Quote/sources

- "Every storm runs out of rain" - Maya Angelou
- Joyful Wisdom: Embracing Change and Finding Freedom by Yongey Mingyur, Eric Swanson

- Keith Blevens - 3P implications - You Tube clip

- Stacey Abrams - Guardian news article

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

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CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life.

Website - Solcare

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