Riffing On Realness™

Getting Vulnerable: Dazed and Confused

Episode Summary

In this episode, we took our time to decide if we wanted to explore getting vulnerable. As our podcast is called Riffing on Realness, we decided to go ahead and explore vulnerability. When your primitive brain gets activated, we can get scared, dazed, and confused.

Episode Notes

Here’s what we explored:

when we feel embarrassed we can get dazed and confused because we feel out of control
when we feel very exposed our primitive brain can get triggered telling us we're going to get kicked out of our tribe
even if others think we are vulnerable and share lots of deep things, in fact we may still be guarded and keeping tight control
we can be vulnerable on our own terms
the feeling of being ambushed can be intense and disorientating
the idea that someone has found a chink in the armour
the desire to control can be invisible to us
seeing the flight reaction in action can be startling
seeing how defended we are can be a shock
being very defended, excessively independent can be a trauma response
in being so defended, we miss out on so much of the good, the true and the beautiful in life
are we curating our life for others (consciously or unconsciously)?
we may curate ourselves as wise, rich and loving when there is also a messy side which we try to hide
sometimes we dress up judgement as curiosity and if we get caught out it can throw us into a spin because the danger signal gets triggered
we are all just human; we make mistakes, fall into judgement
we can end up hiding parts of ourselves
we can end up trying to stage-manage our lives
avoiding difficult situations can feel like a practical response
we can end up feeling some parts of ourselves are not allowed
noticing how low feelings can just come in even when we're having a good day
but they can also go away again
when we are dazed and confused, it's a great time to sit on the bank of ourselves and be compassionate
sometimes when our primitive brain is triggered, we can bring on our executive function and over-ride it. Other times we can't.
when we don't have to bring a bunch of meaning and judgement to it
if we can leave it be, it tends to dissipate quicker
we can question 'what just happened?', 'why am I feeling like this?'
for Juliet when she gets reactive with 'difficult' people, the mind can go to all the things the other person has or hasn't done
when we see that the reactivity is often not about the situation in front of us (unless there is real and present danger)
the mind can get scrambled when it can't come up with a story
but this can be an opening
getting curious about vulnerability.
our identities and security don't come from our possessions, success or our looks
when that illusion gets popped it can be devastating
when we've lost everything (or when we haven't) we can live in fear of losing things
yet losing things and bouncing back is resilience
there's a lot of freedom when we see through the illusion
sometimes when we bump up against our illusions it can be just a lovely letting go
other times it can be disorientating, like when a big chunk of the iceberg falls off
there are times we may need to be defended, like Carla's dog Pedro, after the surgery
it's appropriate to be compassionate with ourselves when we get triggered
disconnection from one another, from the earth and ultimately there is disconnection from our own spirit/souls
we miss out on the richness and variety of life possible if many people are going around defended against the harshness of the world
time to learn each others' songs

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high-achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website - CarlaRoyal.com

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CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life.

Website - Solcare

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