Riffing On Realness™

Showing Up When Feeling Bad

Episode Summary

Carla shared that she wasn't feeling all that good physically which led to a beautiful conversation about what we've learned about showing up when you feel bad. Join us to discover more about how our minds work and what can help us show up even if we feel off, physically or emotionally and how we might get curious about the gifts available when we feel off or unwell.

Episode Notes

Here’s what we explored:

Carla has suffered with chronic pain much of her life
there was a time when, if she felt unwell she would cancel appointments
even though she loves her face to face work with clients
when she's really present, especially in conversations, those sensations matter less
what fades, even more, are the 'woe is me' stories
noticing this has made showing up much easier
you may feel lousy now but you may find when you engage with something, those sensations fade
less pushing through but more allowing the natural joy to emerge
why is it so difficult to show up as we are, to say, 'I feel lousy'?
some people collapse into their emotions or physical discomfort
others push through regardless, even when they perhaps need to rest
yet when we come to our center, we get clearer about what is needed
this is a beautiful middle way which feels easy
being upfront about how you feel AND doing what you want to do
how does showing up affect the intensity of our symptoms?
Carla notices when she's involved in her everyday activities she's often completely unaware of her symptoms.
Carla has headaches every day
these days she doesn't have much story about the headaches
Carla suffered from chronic myofascial pain some years ago and she tormented herself with stories about it.
did she cause it? Why her? How could she bear it?
once the stories dropped away, she suffered less
nowadays she has almost no symptoms
Carla's dog Pedro has physical pain but doesn't add on stories about it.
he's recently had back surgery.
our 'woe is me' stories lower our spirits and keep us focused on the pain
for Carla that seemed to increase the intensity of the pain
in our feeling states too, we get caught up in stories that keep us stuck
Juliet talked of a trip to a remote beach when she was feeling tender
seeing that her feelings didn't come from the beach (neither the joy nor melancholy)
recognizing that it's okay to feel what we feel eg melancholy
when we surrender to our feelings, they move through in their own time
as we get more in touch with a deeper dimension, we take our feelings less seriously, less personally
as our understanding of how the mind works deepens, we find more ease with our ups and downs
more gentleness and kindness can come in
we drop the illusion of urgency as we get less gripped by our feelings and moods
see the antelope on the savannah, grazing, relaxed and alert, relaxed, and alert.
the lion appears and the antelope's system floods with stress chemicals
the chase is on but the lion swerves and moments later the antelope returns to grazing, relaxed, and alert.
of course, the antelope might die but it's not running stories about this
the great lesson here is: we too can move from urgent to relaxed and alert in a heartbeat.
we keep the sense of urgency running if we buy into the stories our mind is telling us
being present we begin to understand we have the resources to respond to danger.
will we outrun the lion? Maybe, maybe not.
do we need to live in constant fear? No.
we've become expert over-thinkers
the ego is not who we are at our essence, fundamentally
the ego is always trying to put forward a better version of ourselves
we work so hard to try and hide our messy human-ness, wearing a mask
dropping the mask is such a relief
how you feel is not who you are
how you feel doesn't say anything about what kind of person you are
getting over-identified with how we feel keeps us from seeing fresh thought
when we get over judging how we feel, then we can find unexpected treasure
Juliet shares how in a group session where she was struggling to hold her train of thought, she wondered if it was an invitation to go quiet and she did so. The call went very deep.
in conversation, we are in a co-creative dance, you, me, and Life
when we show up and be authentic, we don't need to worry about over or underperforming
Life/God/Spirit/Universal Mind has our back
when we feel on top form we tend to take the credit
when we feel a bit off there is a gift there
if we can have eyes for how Life takes care of us/things
when we swing between 'poor me' and 'aren't 'I fantastic' it can look like ego is in the driver's seat
the paradox is that if we demand we always be centered, in equilibrium, then we set up tension, it's another form of seeking
as we fall more and more into acceptance of being human, what might we be missing in the extremes?
when you bring extreme gentleness for its own sake, it brings something marvelous into play

Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please do leave a review and share on your networks.

Quote/sources

'If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;

(Excerpt from 'If', poem by Rudyard Kipling)

Be sure to tune in next time!

CONNECT WITH CARLA

Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

Website - CarlaRoyal.com

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CONNECT WITH JULIET

Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life.

Website - Solcare

Instagram- Juliet Faye

Facebook - Solcare

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