Riffing On Realness™

Simplicity | An Inside Job

Episode Summary

In this episode we explore simplicity. When it looks like we are up against a mountain of things to worry about, think about and manage, we often find other people's advice, at best unhelpful and often just irritating. We wanted to explore whether there is a simpler way.

Episode Notes

Here’s what we explored:

when people try and fix us or our problems it's not helpful, it can be disempowering
what about not offering solutions to others?
what if we have faith that others can figure things out?
what if we wait to be asked for advice?
the simplicity and power of just being present with someone is under-estimated
wanting to fix others is usually about the fixer's ego
fixers often can't tolerate someone's else's pain or discomfort
fixing is often about the fixer feeling better
to have someone sit with you when you are hurt, confused or angry is incredibly powerful
Carla talks about an initial conversation she has with prospective clients where she doesn't coach but listens deeply and asks questions
what if we don't need a bag of tools and techniques to deal with work, family or finances?
what if bringing the simplicity of listening with a tender, open-heart is all we need?
a psychological relaxation is a kind of dropping down under our thoughts rather than trying to control or argue with our thoughts
listening to understand means listening with an open minded curiosity
when we are too in love with our own great ideas we stop listening
when people are going through difficult life challenges, we can worry about what to say or do.
Just show up and be present and see what occurs
support (for ourselves and others) can be incredibly simple
sometimes we don't need words, so much is carried on the feeling, more than we realise
in a constricted tense mind, it's almost impossible to come up with solutions
also in a numb, zoned out mind, problems can seem overwhelming
that deeper, peaceful feeling is never far away
we can discover the possibility of a little reboot at any odd moment
gentle encouragement to look towards a deeper experience
trying to force our mind into any particular state tends to just get in the way - more busy thinking
how is it we can switch out of a low mood for example, when we have a work call?
fresh thought gives us a fresh experience
if you deeply realise that, it begins to change your relationship to how you feel
state of mind is fluid: notice how much it changes through the day
when you feel state of mind gives us an experience of irritability
if you try to solve a problem from that irritable state, everything you look at will be experienced as irritating
what about long term depression, how do you get over that?
there is a deeper dimension that is beyond or before your mood
when we begin to see that all our feelings are coming from inside of us, there is a freedom in recognising that
often we add a pile of judgement, analysis and shame on how we feel and so we have the experience of being shamed, wrong, not good enough
grieving is healthy, it's a way of coming back to equilibrium if we allow ourselves to experience it wholeheartedly
then it doesn't feel as sticky
our psychological system will come back to equilibrium
there is a way to feel more grounded through what we think of as difficult emotions
when we expand into how we feel, huge arms of love wrapped around whatever we are feeling: grief, mean-ness
we are participants and creators in the experience we are having
as we get insights around where our experience is coming from, our relationship to our moods begins to change
our capacity to feel, to feel love, and appreciate everyday beauty, expands
the need to control begins to fall away
the control, analysis, and judgment takes so much energy
wonder about that still space before our thoughts and feelings
we touch that space all the time, it's ordinary, but we overlook it

Quotes and Reference

Adyashanti - on many social media platforms

Thank you for listening. What are you seeing around simplicity? We'd love to hear your questions or reflections so drop us a line. We'd love this podcast to reach a wider audience and point more people to their own wisdom, so please like and share it. It all helps and we appreciate it.

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Carla is a mindset & performance coach working with high achieving, high-performance entrepreneurs who are dealing quietly with anxiety.

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Poet & 3 Principles facilitator, Juliet loves exploring and pointing towards freedom of mind for those curious to engage more fully with all aspects of their life.

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